


Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

by ClaraxBarton



Series: Birdman and Buckaroo [2]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Birdman - Freeform, Hawkeye - Freeform, M/M, meeting the fam, modern! Bucky Barnes, winterhawk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-07-28 15:18:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16244339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClaraxBarton/pseuds/ClaraxBarton
Summary: Bucky brings home his boyfriend.





	Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

**Author's Note:**

> All the thanks to Ro for editing this and just. Literally all the things.
> 
> Also, BIG thanks to everyone who commented and expressed love and also begged for me. Here you are!
> 
> Lastly, I'm in tech for the second week in a row, and I'm going to be working from 9-11 minimum this week and came off a similar schedule last week. SO. Nobody Lost, Nobody Found will be updated NEXT week. Same goes for All I Need is a Miracle. I'm sorry I haven't kept to my regular posting schedule, but after this Friday my life will be more manageable and I can get back to writing all the things.  
> Thanks for hanging in there with me!

  
  


They were in Bucky’s bed, and Clint had finally been distracted from the ticklish spot behind Bucky’s left knee by Bucky saying something that made him freeze in place.

 

“When am I going to meet your friends?”

 

It had been two months since Clint showed up at Bucky’s office. Two months that had consisted of twenty-nine dates - only two interrupted by Clint’s work and an additional four cancelled because of Bucky’s - and a lot of very good sex. 

 

Bucky’s last actual relationship had been back in grad school, and had lasted six months before Bucky received a research grant and his boyfriend, Thomas, did not, and had decided to take it very personally.

 

In that case, their friends had been mostly shared - other sleep-deprived graduate students - but Bucky had introduced Thomas to Becca after a few weeks of dating, and Thomas had introduced Bucky to his childhood best friend after seven weeks of dating.

 

Clint, head wedged between Bucky’s knees, looked up at Bucky with an expression that was somewhere between  _ oh shit _ and  _ let me distract you with the sexy smirk _ .

 

The smirk was still sexy, but Bucky wasn’t distracted.

 

“What?” he asked.

 

“Well, you’ve already met my best friend.”

 

Bucky knew that Clint considered Natasha Romanoff, aka the Black Widow, to be his best friend and platonic heterosexual soulmate. Which, given all that he knew about Clint, still kind of baffled him.

 

“No, I haven’t.”

 

Bucky was fairly confident he would remember, in vivid detail, having met the most dangerous woman in the world.

 

The  _ oh shit  _ expression amped up.

 

“You, uh, you remember your conference in Zurich?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Any chance you remember the French neuroscientist who took you out for lunch after your presentation to talk to you about-”

 

“-Inorganic versus organic fibers for nerve reconstruction,” Bucky finished for Clint, because of course he remembered the lunch. He also remembered telling Clint about it on the phone that night, when his call had woken Clint up in the early hours of the morning, but he had gamely listened to Bucky talk about his presentation and the lunch because the French woman - Camille Brevard - had asked great questions during his presentation, and the lunch had been amazing because they had argued the entire time.

 

“Yeah. That, uh, that was Nat.”

 

Bucky stared at Clint.

 

“No.”

 

“Yeah? I mean. She had a wig on, and the glasses aren’t real. And her eyes aren’t brown. And-”

 

“She knew so much about neuroscience,” Bucky breathed, thinking back to their lunch and their argument and- “I’ve been emailing her for  _ weeks _ , Clint. We’ve been planning on her visiting my lab over the summer and me visiting hers in March! What- You’re telling me this is some elaborate… What the fuck, Clint?”

 

He finally, wisely, moved away from Bucky’s knees and sat, naked and sheepish, at the foot of the bed.

 

“Well, you know, Nat was curious about you after the whole speed dating thing, but I told her she couldn’t stalk you until after I’d actually asked you out, and then I did and… she’s really protective. I mean… we’re all kind of paranoid, you know? And the background check didn’t really satisfy her, so-”

 

“The background check.”

 

“Yeah. Tony ran one after our first date.”

 

“Iron Man did a background check on me after you sucked my dick in a coffee shop bathroom.”

 

“I mean, we had coffee too. And, like, three hours of-”

 

“Clint. That’s not the point.”

 

The still red-haired man looked apologetic.

 

“Yeah, I know. I- I am sorry. I should have told you he would run the background check. And I should have told you about Camille. Nat. I just- You really like her, and she really likes you. Camille is one of her favorite covers, you know, and it was cool that you two get along, and- and I’ve fucked this up.” Clint sighed and scrubbed his face with his hands. “Fuck me. Bucky, I’m sorry. I- Fuck.”

 

Clint scooted back off of the bed and stood up. He started to pull on his clothes.

 

“What are you doing?” Bucky asked him.

 

“I’m getting dressed. Getting out of your- I’m sorry. I promise Nat will leave you alone, and you won’t- No more stalking or anything. I promise you won’t have to deal with another Avenger unless we’re like, saving you from aliens or something.”

 

“Wait, wait.” Bucky got out of the bed as he realized what was happening. “You’re breaking up with me?”

 

Clint stared at him.

 

“No? No, you’re breaking up with me.”

 

“What? When did I do that?”

 

“When- I mean, I just told you my best friend has been pretending to be a neuroscientist, and that one of my other friends did a background check on you.”

 

Bucky buried his face in his hands.

 

_ For fuck’s sake. _ Clint clearly had even less experience with relationships than Bucky.

 

“Yeah. And I’m pissed about that. But I’m not- I’m not breaking up with you because of it.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Clint stood there, face confused, holding his t-shirt half over his shoulders.

 

Bucky rolled his eyes.

 

“Get your dick back in bed,” he grumbled.

 

Clint grinned, dropped his shirt, and climbed back into the bed. He tugged Bucky down with him, and pulled Bucky’s back against his front.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said, and kissed Bucky’s shoulder before licking his way to the ticklish spot at the nape of Bucky’s neck.

 

Bucky tried to pull away, but Clint just smirked and continued to tease him.

 

“You know what would make up for it?” Bucky had a sudden, genius idea.

 

“What?” Clint asked, trusting and so unsuspecting. Bucky almost felt a little guilty.

 

“You coming to family dinner on Tuesday.”

 

Clint froze again.

 

“Family - your family? You want them to meet  _ me _ ?” Clint sounded genuinely baffled.

 

Bucky sighed and rolled over in Clint’s arms.

 

“Why wouldn’t I want them to meet you?

 

“Because I’m- Bucky, I’m a fucking car crash. I’m a dumpster fire. I’m a train wreck. I’m-”

 

“You’re Birdman. And you’re my boyfriend. My sister already knows I’ve been dating someone for the past few weeks. My family will love you.”

 

“Hawkeye,” Clint grumpily corrected him. “I’m like America’s fifth favorite Avenger. It’s not that hard to remember my name.”

 

“You’re my first favorite.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Well. Maybe. Apparently, Natasha is a genius in my field. Maybe she should be my favorite.”

 

“Okay, but can she do  _ this _ ?”

 

Bucky gasped as Clint did something very new, and very, very good.

 

“No,” he admitted shakily, and pulled Clint down for a kiss. “No, she can’t. Well. Maybe she can. Haven’t tried. Think she would-”

 

Clint kissed him until Bucky forgot to keep teasing him.

 

-o-

 

“I’m sorry,” Clint said, for probably the tenth time in the last half-hour.

 

Bucky sighed and leaned against him.

 

“It’s fine,” he repeated once again.

 

They were on the subway, running late but not unforgivably so, and it was empty enough that they hadn’t felt guilty snagging two seats for the ride out to Brooklyn.

 

Clint hung his head.

 

“They’re going to hate me. I look like shit, and we’re late, and-”

 

“Clint. It’s going to be fine.”

 

Bucky had seen, with his own two eyes and way closer than he wanted, Clint fight three men while armed with only a fork, and he hadn’t seemed at all intimidated or anxious.

 

But now, sitting beside Bucky and wearing dark jeans and a purple v-neck sweater that fit him scandalously well, Clint was a nervous wreck.

 

Which might have something to do with the fact that he had been late because of some kind of toxic algae spill in Canada, and had shown up on Bucky’s doorstep looking like he hadn’t slept in three days and sporting a wrap on his right wrist and a  _ bandaid _ on his forehead.

 

“You’re too good for me,” Clint grumbled. “Everyone knows it. They’re going to realize it the second they see me. They’re going to hate me and-”

 

“Clint.”

 

He finally looked Bucky in the eyes, and it was so obvious he was completely miserable and completely convinced Bucky was going to dump him if his family didn’t like him.

 

It would be funny if it wasn’t so… weirdly adorable. There was this uncomfortable pressure in Bucky’s chest when he looked at Clint’s face and saw the expression in his eyes.

 

Meeting Bucky’s family scared Clint more than facing down Hydra. 

 

And yet, he was willing to do it.

 

Bucky kissed him and laced their fingers together.

 

“They won’t hate you. You’re America’s fifth favorite Avenger. How could they hate you?”

 

-o-

 

Becca had moved back home after breaking up with her girlfriend three months ago, and had decided to stay in her childhood bedroom while she finished her MFA at NYU so she could save rent money.

 

So, predictably, she was the one to open the door when Bucky knocked on it.

 

He and Clint were still holding hands, though Clint’s grip couldn’t really be classified as  _ holding _ so much as  _ clutching onto for dear life _ .

 

Becca opened the door, wearing leggings and Bucky’s Rangers jersey that he had been looking for for  _ years _ .

 

He glared at her and she smirked at him, knowing exactly what the glare was for, but then her gaze flicked over to Clint and her jaw dropped.

 

“Oh. My. God. You- you’re dating  _ Hawkeye _ ? No fucking way. You? My brother bagged the second hottest Avenger?  _ How _ ? What do you even  _ see _ in him?”

 

It took Clint a full minute to realize Becca had directed that last question at him.

 

He looked between Becca and Bucky, who was still glaring at the  _ actual worst sibling in the world. Worse even than Romulus had been to Remus. _

 

And then Clint smirked.

 

“Maybe I’ve been dating the wrong Barnes.  _ She _ actually knows who I am.”

 

Bucky rolled his eyes.

 

“I know who you are, Birdman,” he growled.

 

Clint grinned and held out his spare hand to Becca.

 

“Clint Barton. Nice to meet you, Rebecca. Bucky’s told me a lot about you.”

 

“Becca. Please, call me Becca. And forget everything that filthy liar told you about me. I’m  _ amazing _ .” 

 

She used her grip on Clint’s hand to pull him away from Bucky, and then tugged him into the house.

 

“Mom! Dad! Bucky’s hooked up with an Avenger!”

 

Bucky wondered just how bad a boyfriend he would be if he left Clint alone with his family and ran away.

 

He pulled out his phone and texted Camille -  _ Natasha _ .

 

**Could I pay you to kidnap me?**

 

Her response was eerily immediate.

 

**Don’t tell me Clint’s ruined your family dinner already. Usually it takes civilians at least two hours before they realize he could kill them without elevating his resting heart rate.**

 

With that cheerful peptalk, Bucky decided not to waste any time responding to her, and instead went into his childhood home and straight for the bottle of scotch his mother always kept in her writing desk.

 

-o-

 

“No, no, I’m  _ serious _ \- Hydra ambushed us at the Cloisters. We had just finished walking through the Crusades exhibit and we were getting a coffee, and out of  _ nowhere _ these four guys in full tac gear just pop up, and Bucky, oh my god, Bucky threw his coffee at the first one, and it was the coolest thing ever.”

 

Clint had a gift for storytelling.

 

Had, in fact, won over not only Bucky’s father, but his mother within five minutes of setting foot in the Barnes’ family home and telling Bucky’s mother some wild, convoluted story about soup and the circus and- Bucky hadn’t been able to hear most of it over Becca’s incessant questions about Clint’s skill in bed.

 

“You were attacked by Hydra,” Winifred Barnes said, the easy smile she had been wearing all through dinner immediately replaced by an all-too-familiar expression of stern concern.

 

Clint realized, too late, that maybe telling Bucky’s family about the time they had fought Hydra on a date wasn’t the  _ best _ ‘I’m good for your son’ kind of story.

 

He gave Bucky a sheepish, apologetic smile.

 

“I wasn’t attacked,” Bucky sighed. “Clint was. I was just a bystander.”

 

“A bystander who bravely intervened but totally wasn’t needed, and was one hundred percent the focus of my protection as I fought off Hydra. And called the cops to arrest them. No one was hurt. None of the exhibits were damaged,” Clint added, as if that helped.

 

“Hydra,” Winifred repeated, and both Bucky and Clint winced.

 

“Mom-”

 

“No, no. I- You’re a grown man. Your life is your own.” She forced a smile onto her face. “Now, let me clean up this mess.”

 

Clint looked so guilty it was heartbreaking, but Bucky shoved him back down into his chair when he tried to get up.

 

“I’ll help you,” Bucky told his mother, and grabbed his plate before she could.

 

“Nonsense. You have a guest to entertain and-”

 

“I’ll keep him entertained,” Becca immediately volunteered with a grin, earning back half of a point in Bucky’s mind from all of the points she had lost that night already by telling Clint dozens of embarrassing stories about Bucky as a kid.

 

Bucky gave her a warning look as he collected the rest of the plates and followed his mother into the kitchen.

 

“Okay, tell Dad and me all about Dr. Doom and those robots in Shanghai last year.”

 

Rolling his eyes, Bucky shoved past his mother and positioned himself in front of the kitchen sink.

 

She arched an eyebrow at him, but her mouth stayed in a firmly pressed line.

 

“Ma,” Bucky sighed, “it’s not his fault Hydra wants to kill him. He’s a good guy. He saves the world.”

 

“And endangers you at the same time,” Winifred bit out.

 

“No, he’s not endangering me. He’s-”

 

“Oh, because Hydra would attack you if you weren’t with him?”

 

“Maybe? Mom, aliens have invaded New York three times in the last seven years. Remember last year when I had to hole up in my lab with my students for two days? Remember when I had to kill one of those squishy aliens with acid? That wasn’t Clint’s fault.”

 

“You’ve gone twenty-seven years without being attacked by Hydra,” she insisted.

 

“And I’ve also gone twenty-seven without being this happy.”

 

She sighed and glared at him.

 

“James.”

 

It wasn’t really playing fair, he knew that, but it still wasn’t a lie. Clint made Bucky crazy, but he also made him deliriously happy.

 

Clint wasn’t a neuroscientist, but he listened when Bucky talked about his work - listened better than some of Bucky’s colleagues - and he and Clint shared a similar dark sense of humor. They liked the same movies, both loved science fiction books and spent hours arguing about colonizing Mars. And Clint was kind, thoughtful, gentle, and forceful at all of the times Bucky wanted and needed him to be.

 

“I’m already falling in love with him,” Bucky admitted, and it felt like such a big thing to say those words out loud, especially to his mother, who had always wanted the best for him, who always pushed him to want the best for himself. 

 

“Oh, James.” She gathered him close and hugged him. “Be careful?”

 

He nodded into her shoulder as he hugged her back.

 

“I will.”

 

It wasn’t the first time he had lied to his mother, but it might be the biggest lie he had ever told her.

 

-o-

  
  
  



End file.
